My heart aches for everyone you will leave behind my sweet angel. I know that there is no greater place than heaven and you have so many people up there who will love you and rejoice when they see you but the ones who will still be here on earth will weep for you and miss you terribly. I never imagined something like "anencephaly" was even possible but I guess you never pay attention to things until it effects you personally. In my heart I longed for you and I rejoiced the day I knew you were starting to grow inside of me. My love for you started before you were ever conceived and oh how it has grown. I don't want to imagine my life without you princess. I don't want to think about the "could haves" I want them to be possible. I want so much for you but reality tells me ill never see it. How will I tell my heart to stop aching for you....how will I tell my tears to stop crying for you. if my dreams will be the only place I can see you again how will I stay awake. The hurt will last a lifetime. I know im being selfish but I can't help it...this time I deserve to be selfish because I want to keep you not bury you.
In just a few days I will hold you in my arms and I will feel your perfect skin against mine. I will admire you and all your beauty. I will treasure that moment for the rest of my life and will always long for the day ill hold you in my arms again.
Daddy and I are so blessed. No matter what happens you have already done so many positive things in our lives and the lives of our friends and family. Everyone loves you so much darling and they haven't even met you yet.
I love you Madilynn Anahera Brown
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